Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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