:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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