Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
