I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
