Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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