Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
