after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
