she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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