You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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