Who wears a wallet chain?!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
