so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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