Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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