peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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