Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
