I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
