I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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