No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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