So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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