Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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