just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
