I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
