Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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