She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
