i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
