party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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