Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
