you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
