that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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