His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We don't watch enough power rangers
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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