Where is the hickey?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
