so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
how drunk are you?
Several
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
