Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
