I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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