Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
