the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
