Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
