im six kinds of drunk right now
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
you made out with another girl for some wings
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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