you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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