It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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