ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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