Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
