Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
