whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
