Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize