Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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