and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Randomize
