So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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