I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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