No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
