And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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