Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
