The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
