we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
