whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
