She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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