Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize