do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
