she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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