come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
