brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
