go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
