So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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