Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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