I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
