i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
