And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
