i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
