Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
